The Amazing Willy Wanker |
When I was just a little wee lad
I hopped on the lap of me dear old Dad, Something sharp done poked me good, Dadsy said, "Just me morning wood" Little tin soldiers marchin'''' by, Sergeant Major unzips his fly Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants, Slaps away till it starts to dance, Shooting Stars above my bed Changing colors of my mushroom head, Rainbow jizz flies across the room, Little white spermies meet their doom, Ahhhh, the amazing Willy Wanker Ahhhh, the amazing Willy Wanker And me scrotum sacky says la la la la la la tickle me Little green men from outer space, Here to exterminate the human race, Drop their ray guns, retreat to their ship When marshmallow sauce squirts from me tip Like a knight of old in Camelot, The goo takes off like an arrow shot, Guinevere drops to her knees and begs, For the spittin dragon tween me legs Using my dink for what it''''s for, Gentle knock upon me door, Mumsy drops her cup of tea, When she sees my wang standing tall and free, Ahhhh, the one and only Willy Wanker Ahhhh, here comes Willy Wanker And me marble sacky says la la la la la la tickle me Raspberry scones and marmalade, Squeezing my squid in the evening shade, Visions of mermaids in the sky, Shooting my load in me own left eye Gramps was a hero in the first World War, But he ain''''t got no dick no more, Comes home snookered from the corner pub, Makes poor old Gramsy kiss his nub The world spins ''''round like a big bass drum, Nana pops a pinkie in the General''''s bum, The Irish dance and the Scotchmen howl, Time to clean up with the washroom towel Ahhhh, yeah, it''''s only Willy Wanker, yeah, Ahhhhhhhhh, the lonely Willy Wanker And me wrinkle sacky says la la la la la la tickle me |