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| The Mule Session |
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My girlfriend left me for a seven-foot Indian
My Grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister''''s on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddys only happy when hes wearing Mama''''s pantyhose, yeah, I just lost my job to a g-ddamn robot Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got. But I''''ve got my mule He''''s a very, very nice mule He walks with me home from school Cause hes a very, very nice mule When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel But now he prefers to dine on his own stool He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul Cause hes a very, very pious mule When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to drool On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel Cause hes a very, very Old School mule A needle-nose pliers is his favorite tool He lifeguards on a volunteer basis at the Rec. Center pool When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel He''''s a devoted fan of Miss Paula Abdul And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel When I told him Halle Berry''''s husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself, "what a fool" Cause hes a very, very monogamous mule After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O''''Doul And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn''''t cool His favorite Elvis song is "Dont Be Cruel," no, its "Hound Dog" |
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